The Big Envelope Cometh...

My very first year as the admissions director at Holy Ghost Prep, I decided that when we sent out acceptance letters we would mail them in big envelopes. I am not sure why this seemed so important to me at the time, but I am confident that it was born out of the belief that bigger was more dramatic, and it would be tough for me to deny that I am a fan of a production. Throughout the admissions season I would mention this from time to time to prospective families – usually as part of a light hearted conversation or a quick side joke to an audience.

The week before Christmas break that year, we raced to get decision letters out so that we could leave for the holidays without anyone waiting to hear from us about acceptance. We beat the clock by two days and everything was ideal. The day before we were to break, I was sitting in my office, waiting to leave for the faculty and staff Christmas party when a mom walked into my office. Before I had the chance to say "hello," she started yelling at me. Actually, "yelling" does not capture the true verbose and unrelenting nature of the attack. It might better be described as the wailing and gnashing howl of an infuriated banshee. Not a breath could be discerned as I watched this little grey envelope raise and lower with the vocal assault on me, the school, the students, the teachers and an often used reference that began with my mother. I was both slightly terrified and at the same time in awe that this enraged lunatic person in front of me could continue for such a long time in her extraordinary attack. I made countless verbal ducks and weaves to squeeze in a word, but it was hopeless until, well, she had to sneeze. I took the split second opportunity and said, "did you open the envelope?"

Inside, after her ravenous destruction of the evil shroud that surrounded her letter, she read, in quick order, the words, "accepted" and "scholarship." She stared at me for a moment, and walked out. In our race to beat the holiday deadline, I had forgotten to order the big envelopes, and so all the letters went out in small envelopes. Four years later, when I shook her son’s hand at graduation (who nothing of the event), she stood many yards back…you see, as she explained to her friends many times, "if HGP had just sent a large envelope, none of that would have happened. It was Ryan’s fault. He should be ashamed of what he
mostly stay quiet. This mom created a nightmare in her mind before she let the bright light of the good truth illuminate her path. As Mark Twain once said, "I have been through some terrible things in my life…some of which actually happened." It never bothered me that the mom blamed me or never apologized. We were trying to the right thing and I believe, sincerely, that we did. For the last twelve years in the admissions office and the last eight in hockey, I have been yelled at, called names, reminded how little I know and confidently dismissed as naïve, brainless or playing politics. I am pretty accustomed to the routine and shared success. There are going to be conflicts and disagreements. There are going to be scheduling issues and times when everyone’s expectations are not met. These are unavoidable elements of playing organized sports. Let’s all use our energy to cheer, to play harder, to be more focused, to applaud and to support.

As our games begin and rosters develop, it is essential that we all remain positively focused on our
We are all in this for the same reasons – and no one is getting rich or famous off our high school hockey games. Please know that my unwavering vocation is to support our players with every energy and skill that I possess. I know our coaches share this commitment. My sincere prayers remain, as always, for our shared achievement and success.

If you have a question, ask. If you see a conflict, confront it – the right way. Don’t wait until the opportunity to improve is so far passed that the one-time quick fix is now an unnecessary complex project. You may not like the answer or the solution, but at least you will be given the chance to ask or argue your case. made me do."

The Good Fight Goes On

A few weeks ago I read an article in the Bucks County Courier Times about Phillies utility man Mike Sweeney. After 16 seasons in major league baseball, he is finally in the post-season. The article, though, was not about baseball. Instead, it was about his faith, and it referenced a retreat he had taken as a senior in high school. The timing was somewhat ironic as I had just returned home from our own senior retreat the previous weekend.

I brought this article up while I was sitting at a meeting of many hockey folks – club, high school, etc – and as I expected it was immediately dismissed by some and embraced by few. Before I even had a chance to say anything more, the usual barrage began: “Did you know that the freshmen on your hockey team are already committed to prep schools for next year? Every weekend there are 25 scouts that watch [insert player here]. Every player on [insert team here] is getting recruited by Division One schools – you can’t compete with that. There will be 100 college and NHL scouts at our game this weekend – it’s the most important weekend of the year.” And just in case I have retained even the tiniest semblance of value to my existence, the inevitable killer blow is unleashed: “and of course no one actually cares about high school ice hockey.”

I learned long ago not to stand in the way of the posturing of ice hockey. I can make no grand oratory to convince the consumers of the potion that not every weekend tournament is the single most important experience in the world – yes, there will still be the tournament the next weekend – and the weekend after that... Countless Division 1 coaches can be seen or read saying, “if you’re that good, we’ll find you. Never forget that not every great player has the resources to travel around the country to be seen…and in a world with the internet, video and with a smartly developed plan, dreams are still attainable.”

My philosophy and the philosophy of our ice hockey program is pretty simple: there is a place in this world for a kid to be a kid. Doing well in school and being a young man of character are the priorities. Sharing your gifts and talents to build spirit among teammates and your classmates is as noble as any win, on any level. Being a role model and doing the right things can’t be counted on a scoreboard, but is remembered and lived forever by the people whose lives you changed with your example. We must do what we can to help sustain the course of great things that every player wants to achieve. Sacrifice, honesty, compromise and patience are required to make sure that those who’s path may deliver the sought-after dream of college hockey is properly supported. So too, we must show this same commitment and unyielding energy when our players need our empathy, our time, our expertise and our unquestioning ear. Humility and good character will serve you well beyond the days you can skate and a strong and tested mind will help shield you from an uncertain world that changes every minute. To paraphrase Albert Einstein, “preparing for what will come in the future should not prevent you from making history today.”

My conviction is strong because of the fine men and women – high school, club, officials and friends in ice hockey – I have encountered over the last seven years that share the same principle that it is the person we are charged with supporting that supremely matters, not what he can do with a puck. My sincerest prayers remain wholeheartedly with them as we start full swing into another season. I hope that each of us in the Holy Ghost Prep community can share with me this faith strong commitment to support what is right and the folks that work so hard to fight the good fight.

To end, I would like to make mention of our seniors as we start this new year. I am extraordinarily fortunate to have been a part of the lives of so many HGP students over the years. I marvel every second at their achievements, successes and ability to overcome some of the most demanding challenges. This year’s seniors have faithfully and nobly carried the torch of our program for four years. They are the first group, for all four years, to fully bear the weight of our success this decade. They have done this with great spirit and loyalty. I do not know where this season will end, but if the judgment is based on the content of the hearts of our seniors, we are first no matter the contest.